over a can of Carlsberg and a stick of Marlboro, that ended with a thousand peso taxi ride. 05-01-12

Does Distance really matter?

I always ignored the thought
of all these moments that
we're not spending together would really
make a huge difference.

I could be easily right at her doorstep at
12 midnight, holding a boquet of roses
with a box of yellow cab pizza
ready to celebrate. Just like what we had
for a midnight snack on the eve of
her 17th birthday.

Maybe we could have had a fancy dinner at
a fine dining restaurant in Greenbelt or Highstreet
with all those expensive dishes with a 'generous'
serving of a single teaspoon from
appetizers down to desserts.

But for sure we would have just settled
for a simple movie date, preferably watching The Avengers
while hoping to witness again some fanatic weirdo pump up his fists
in the air with a screaming "YES!" after the credits just a few seats away from us.

With occassions like this,
your deepest sentiments surfaces.
And you're scared to deny it
to keep yourself from being numb
from what you really feel.

I miss her face, her eyes,
and the way she runs like a duck.
I always miss her cat like lips,
her chipped pedicures on her toe nails
and her mom's home made yema.

I miss watching her sleep on my shoulder
with her mouth wide open.
I miss her little brother, Massi,
and how we spend the whole day
playing y8 games and left 4 dead.

I miss our movie dates at Trinoma and Gateway,
also her insatiable and very unique
home made adobong hotdog.
I miss how we could trust each other with our deepest secrets.
and I miss how i see the stars in her eyes.

I miss us.

We have come a long way,
from ups and downs,
from the 1st month to the 48th.
from Manila to Singapore.

And yet, I still get the jitters
whenever the 1st day of the month approaches.
I admit to still procrastinate on what surprise
to show off on every occassion possible.
I still get my hands sweaty when I want
to reach for her hand.

And it's true that all these words that I just blabbered
all over this post is because I'm trying so hard
to find the right words to say just to complete her day.

Distance does makes a difference.
It gives that illusion of losing what you have,
Making things difficult and complicated,
And yet, making you miss those things more,
before it's too late to miss them forever.

I know what I have. And I'm lucky and content with what we have.

One thousand four hundred sixty days,
I don't mind adding up more on that.

Happy 4th year anniversary Tammy!
See you soon! I love you!