A letter to the child who misses his Father: A few things you might want to know 10 years after.

One day after another.
There is not so much difference from now and a decade later.
How can a person feel being numb when they are not supposed
to feel anything at all?

When you realize you'll never smile the same way like before,
Here are a few things you might want to know 10 years after and more...

For the first few days, it will be difficult to see
between reality and fiction.
There would be a lot of long pauses and silence every now & then.
You become less sensitive of the world,
everything would be in slow motion.
This would be a recurrent situation you'll find yourself into much too often...

Be prepared when tears jerk up every time you start to remember.
This will be common at least until three years later.
Your last memory of him will always feel like yesterday,
and you will forever be left with that hanging question,
"what if he waited for you on that last day?"

You'll forever imagine this parallel universe where he didn't leave.
Since no tears could bring him back, no matter how much you grieve.
But do know when you miss him,
you can always meet him in your dreams.
Each episodes will be too real, it is like dreaming in your dreams.

The first few Holidays will feel cold as snow,
the next few Christmases might be less merry, with fewer ho ho hos.
And I know you will think about this so many times since that day,
On how great it would have been
to have him standing beside you on that special day,
By the altar while waiting for your wife to be,
And how awesome he would be to your children as their Grand Daddy.

I know it would be hard to be too happy on your first couple of birthdays.
No one will blame you if you are just too weary and low.
But do know that whenever you are down, there is no place to go but up.
I know it would feel guilty to be moving on without him,
But go ahead, he wants you to look up.

You can get lost for a while and do whatever you want,
Let this be something that makes you stop and think about life.
Sooner you'd care less about material things and temporary emotions,
And finally realise that your greatest fear and sole purpose in life are exactly the same.

I can't tell you so much on how things will get better.
I wished there was an easy remedy to make you instantly sober.
As how bad as it might look right now,
You have to go through this.
Just pray. It works. I promise.

Out of the hundred things I can share with you during those 10 years since I lost a part of me,
Is the most important thing that I cannot forget to remind you about is what was left of me.

As strong as she looks since the beginning until this day,
She needs you now more than ever.
This was one thing I failed to see.
Sinee I was too occupied thinking about me.

You are her whole world now,
Spoil her with every chance you get.
Seeing her act in love and like a kid again
is the best feeling in the world. Trust me.
Don't let those moments pass by you before you regret.

She loves you. You are all that she has.

All of these might be a bit too much for you,
especially with all the things that you have just went through.
Eventually you will be forced to live a life again,
In no time, you'll be back at it again.

Keep the faith. It is what we have left that keeps us human.

One day after another.
There is not so much difference from now and a decade later.
Just always remember,
He will always be your hero,
and you will always be his greatest mission.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------

@jeddyums