Stars

Take me to a place where i feel comfort and secured.

"You brought me here."

He is the foundation of my being,
A figure of strength & a source of ease.

He guided me from my first step,
To my first ever lay up on a basketball rim.
I built my dreams and lived my fantasies on every amusing toys
& awesome lego blocks he bought for me.

He stayed with me when i thought my room was haunted,
Gave me a bucket of ice cream every after appointment from the dentist.
A lot of things we still wanted to do,
We haven't even reached half of our checklist.

He is part of the reason for my joy,
And part of the reason for my frustrations and tears.

No matter how hard i cry
And no matter how hard i try,
There is nothing made in this world that is possible
To bring him back.

He has set a standard for my life.
Made promises & left that sense of security
That covered all my flaws & any feeling
Of vulnerability.

He allowed us to live a life full of dreams,
And it really hit hard when i had to wake
Up from the reality
That he is actually just
Another part of my memory.

It would have been great,
Had he stayed on the ground.
He would have been so happy
to see all that was yet to come.

I love you, at least just give me this chance to say it to you again.

The stars in the sky will never be the same.

Happy father's day dad! Mom misses you, and ate even more.

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

over a can of Carlsberg and a stick of Marlboro, that ended with a thousand peso taxi ride. 05-01-12

Does Distance really matter?

I always ignored the thought
of all these moments that
we're not spending together would really
make a huge difference.

I could be easily right at her doorstep at
12 midnight, holding a boquet of roses
with a box of yellow cab pizza
ready to celebrate. Just like what we had
for a midnight snack on the eve of
her 17th birthday.

Maybe we could have had a fancy dinner at
a fine dining restaurant in Greenbelt or Highstreet
with all those expensive dishes with a 'generous'
serving of a single teaspoon from
appetizers down to desserts.

But for sure we would have just settled
for a simple movie date, preferably watching The Avengers
while hoping to witness again some fanatic weirdo pump up his fists
in the air with a screaming "YES!" after the credits just a few seats away from us.

With occassions like this,
your deepest sentiments surfaces.
And you're scared to deny it
to keep yourself from being numb
from what you really feel.

I miss her face, her eyes,
and the way she runs like a duck.
I always miss her cat like lips,
her chipped pedicures on her toe nails
and her mom's home made yema.

I miss watching her sleep on my shoulder
with her mouth wide open.
I miss her little brother, Massi,
and how we spend the whole day
playing y8 games and left 4 dead.

I miss our movie dates at Trinoma and Gateway,
also her insatiable and very unique
home made adobong hotdog.
I miss how we could trust each other with our deepest secrets.
and I miss how i see the stars in her eyes.

I miss us.

We have come a long way,
from ups and downs,
from the 1st month to the 48th.
from Manila to Singapore.

And yet, I still get the jitters
whenever the 1st day of the month approaches.
I admit to still procrastinate on what surprise
to show off on every occassion possible.
I still get my hands sweaty when I want
to reach for her hand.

And it's true that all these words that I just blabbered
all over this post is because I'm trying so hard
to find the right words to say just to complete her day.

Distance does makes a difference.
It gives that illusion of losing what you have,
Making things difficult and complicated,
And yet, making you miss those things more,
before it's too late to miss them forever.

I know what I have. And I'm lucky and content with what we have.

One thousand four hundred sixty days,
I don't mind adding up more on that.

Happy 4th year anniversary Tammy!
See you soon! I love you!

it's crazy, sometimes stupid, but it's love. 09-01-11

There is no easier way to break this out.

All I can do is to hold on to that last memory

of holding her tight in my arms as I'll have to wait for a couple of years

until I get to be with her again.

I'll miss holding her hand, her scent, her smile,

and especially when she laughs and giggles.

Having her in my life makes me feel secured

and everything else becomes more simple.

I'll miss her kiss,

and the way she feeds me like a sumo wrestler with the unli kanin and ulam

whenever I have lunch and dinner at her place.

I'll miss her eyes, and the way she makes a cat like smile with her lips.

I'll miss our late night talks on the phone

and the endless nights of securing guests for 7th high.

I'll miss the way she tickles my neck until I shiver.

And the times when I watch her do her weekly report during her day offs.

I'll miss waiting for her to get home after work,

and how we compare our experiences on riding the killer bus via Novaliches.

I'll miss her long brown hair,

since eventually she'll cut it short for a change.

And now suddenly whenever I sing a song, I think of her,

and every love quotes that I read are starting to become all familiar.

It is all because I flew far away on a jet plane,

and all that's left for me to say is when I get back, I'll bring her a wedding ring.

But don't get me wrong,

there's still so much for us to learn and to experience.

And though it'll be 700 plus days that will be stolen away from us,

I promise myself to make up for the time lost for every single day that

I will be spending with her when I get back.

Call me mushy and cheesy,

but I really miss Tammy.

And I just couldn't help myself to miss her more every single day.

I love her so much, and there is not a single thing created in this whole universe that would change that.

Here's to spending the 1st month anniversary away from each other.

Happy 40th months hun! :)

I miss you!

>redgiewedgie

what is it like to live a life like an Hour Glass?

I still look back on the last 3weeks of my stay in Manila, just after I learned about my departure date. Sudden emotions just rushes through my thoughts, and feelings of sorrow and happiness both lingers while I still try to get a grip of the opportunity that has come forth before me. "Sad Happy" is the exact feeling.

I feel so bummed out since I will have to set aside much of the things that makes up my whole being. And because of so much stress that must be endured as waiting to get back quickly makes the simpler things more difficult.

Happy for the reason of finally starting something new for myself, as this next chapter would eventually open the doors to my fantasies and the endless dreams that I have been wishing for myself.

I tried slowing down time by creating a bucket list of the things I want and I have to do before I leave, and it was definitely worth the fun running down the list one by one.

And soon as you neared the finish line, you'll notice the things that you never usually give time for. 

The experience definitely fits the question, "if you have a few seconds to live, what would you do?"

Probably the most frequent line that I kept on saying during all those times was:

"The hardest way of saying goodbye is having to go separate ways at a certain point, and both of you would have to go back alone with that final goodbye flashing like a head light at the back of your head."

You just could not control your tears.

Though I failed to say goodbye to everyone that I wanted to see before I left, I still feel blessed, and I could say that I tried my best to "make those last seconds count".

The sand has ran out.

Time to turn it upside down again.

Now Open

At Last